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Dr. Kelly Brennan - every Wednesday at 11:15
7 Things Every Man Should Know About Irish Women And 4 Things Every Woman Should Know About Irish Men!By, snoozeulooze.wordpress.com
Fir, not a tree, but the Irish for "men" - you may find this as an identifier on toilet doors. Which can be quite confusing if not accompanied by a pictorial device or a translation. Especially as the next important word to remember is ... Mná,not a misspelling of "man" but the Irish for "women". Again this is used as an identifier on toilet doors, mainly in the West of Ireland. The similarity of mná and "man" can lead to embarrassing situations.
Ah us women – we truly are a complicated bunch! Now it is true that us women possess deep and complex minds with thoughts and ideas so profound that no man can even begin to comprehend them, but here is a simple guide for you men to enable you to understand your woman and maybe get lucky!
7 Things Every Man Should Know About Irish Women. Consider this your new Bible!
1. When we say; “We just want a cuddle” – we mean exactly that! - We just want a cuddle! Sometimes all we want is to get into the most fleecy pj’s we own and curl up on the couch with our man’s arms around us. No sneaky attempts to ‘cop a feel’ wanted! If we want more action – don’t worry we will let you know!
2. We like our men rugged and masculine!Now I’m not saying we want bulging muscles and guns of steel but we want our men to look after themselves! A little maniscaping is good but don’t go OTT on it – a little hair on the chest is a good thing and under no circumstances do you pluck your eyebrows (unless it’s to get rid of a uni-brow – then that’s acceptable). We like our men to look good but not to look too feminine or girly – that’s a complete turn off!
3. On a first pub hanging – we expect you to pay. We may offer but we don’t expect you to take us up on it! This is a very important factor and can determine whether a second hanging and even sex is in the cards.
4. Shaving legs is a complete pain! In the early stages of a relationship our legs will be silky smooth one hundred percent of the time. But be warned – once we have reeled you in the occasional bit of stubble may appear on our legs or even full out growth of hair! We are normal natural ladies and surprise we do have hair on our legs (and other places too!)
5. Sometimes it’s just lovely to be surprised with the offered a cup of tea and your favorite chocolate bar as a surprise – no strings attached! We girls love surprises – especially the little daily ones however, our Irish men rarely give surprises. One way to get us frisky are surprizes!
6. Girls like a bit of old-fashioned chivalry.All that’s required is that men open the door for their lady and allow her to walk through first. Easy peasy! Oh and standing up when she arrives into a restaurant is a must. Chivalrous without going overboard gets us into bed with you!
7. Don’t diss our girlfriends.They have been around longer than you and more than likely are going to stand the test of time and be around long after you have gone too! It’s OK for us to have a little rant about our closest girlfriends every now and then but you do not have the right to wade in on this. Just remain tight-lipped and nod politely – it’s far safer for you! Besides, you might5 be surprised to find out how our girlfriends can be a great information source to you about your woman.
Now for the Irish Men!
1.For men, a relationship is basically a gravy train of sex. So once we’re in one, we tend to be pretty malleable about most other things. But you can only push a man so far. One of the local men told me in a pub that he “once broke up with a girl for making me go on the Dublin ghost bus tour. I have me limits.”
2.When a man is in a relationship, he doesn’t discuss his sex life with his friends. I’m not sure why, he just doesn’t.
3.Every man secretly thinks he’s the best in the world at something. Be kind, don’t burst our bubble.
4.Finally, don’t EVER look at our internet browsing history. Ever. Not even if you think there’s a chance it could avert a nuclear holocaust. Just trust me on this one.
So there you have it boys and girls – not too difficult to decipher at all. Now just adopt the above as a mantra and recite it each morning to your reflection in the mirror (not creepy at all!)
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, April 9, 2014. Portland. Oregon.
11 Cool Facts You Didn’t Know About Dublin, Ireland. By: Anna Fleet on Thursday, May 23rd, 2013 @ 1:44 pm
Ireland’s beautiful, lively capital is friendly for a large city. It’s a place of decadence, revelry, and it packs quite the alcohol-soaked punch if you plan to spend it drinking in the world-renowned city pubs. However, there’s more to Dublin than a keg of Guinness. In fact, the city boasts a rich music, art, culture, and literary history that is still alive today.
Here are eleven cool facts that you probably didn’t know about Dublin, Ireland…
1. Dublin Natives
Or “Dubliners”, speak “Dublinese”, a mix of Dublin slang and curse words like this phrase: “I’m on the lash,” which translates to “I’m out drinking!”
2. What’s in a Name?
Dublin or “Dubh Linn” is an Old Irish Gaelic phrase that translates to “Black Pool”.
3. Famous Dubliners
Celebrated city natives include play write and Nobel Prize laureate, George Bernard Shaw, and writer and poet, James Joyce.
4. A Viking Settlement
Dublin was founded by Vikings, who settled in what they called the “Norse Kingdom of Dublin” in the 9th century.
The city of Dublin covers a land area of 44.5 square miles.
Dublin’s famous Trinity College boasts many celebrated graduates—including Oscar Wilde, Jonathan Swift, and Bram Stoker (who wrote Dracula).
Dublin has the youngest population in all of Europe. Approximately 50-percent of the population is less than 25-years of age.
The City of Dublin contains 666 licensed pubs—and the legal drinking age is 18!
Dublin’s oldest known pub is the Brazen Head, established in 1198 AD as a coach house.
Ireland’s National Treasure is “The Book of Kells”, a sacred manuscript, which consists of the Four Gospels of the New Testament. The beautiful, gold book was made by Celtic Monks around 800 AD, and today lies in the Trinity College Library.
There are 10-million pints of Guinness produced daily in Dublin.
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, April 02, 2014. Portland. Oregon.
5 Reasons Why Every Woman Needs a Girls Weekend by Abby Draper, Huff Post Women. March 25, 2014
You know when Big stands Carrie up at the altar and it's just the worst, so the girls take her to Mexico (and Charlotte sh*ts her pants)? While spending time with your significant other, children if applicable, colleagues and acquaintances is wonderful and important, every woman needs a good "girls weekend" every so often, at any age. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or elaborate, but a simple few days away from the norm with some women you trust is a special kind of cleanse, especially when you're going through a tough time. Why?
Here are 5 reasons every woman needs a girls weekend:
1. Total vulnerability. You don't have to wear makeup, or shower, or shave your legs if you don't want to. Feeling super insecure about those five pounds you can't lose? No one cares, let it all hang out. Want to sit in the middle of the living room, holding a bottle of wine and cry your head off? This is the time to do it.
2. No judgment. Ready for a second bottle of wine? So is everyone else in the room. Fart in your sleep? Giggles ensue. Feel like spending the morning naked? Go for it. No one cares, it's amazing. I will never forget a morning of a girls weekend where I was sitting in the middle of the kitchen, drinking a mimosa, naked, while blow-drying my hair. Everyone laughed, and now it's a hilarious tradition and fond memory.
3. Complete relaxation. I've spent entire mornings during a girls’ weekend, sitting in a robe on the couch reading a gossip magazine next to five other women who haven't said a word to each other. Bliss. Usually there is some sort of spa treatment during a girls weekend, some comfort food, a nice hike or a bike ride through a vineyard. Totally refreshing.
4. Pure honesty. Whether you're the one opening up or the one suggesting a potential solution, you don't have to bullsh*t any of it. Hate your job because your boss is miserably awful to you? Haven't had sex with your boyfriend or husband in a month? Decided to get Botox? Let it all out, girl, because everyone there gets it.
5. Boy talk. If you're 12, 25, 40 or 75, boy talk never gets old. Single? Share your crushes. Have amazing sex? We know you want to talk about every single detail, and your girls want to hear them. All of them. Is he driving you crazy? Ugh, let's bitch about it until you feel better.
Can't get away for a weekend? Have a sleepover in the city you live in. Can't go far? There is likely a different city with a hotel or a cute B&B close to you that may even have a Groupon deal. So ladies, call your girlfriends and plan your next girls weekend. Cheers.
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, October 09, 2013. Portland. Oregon.
Top 10: Cruel Things Women Do To Men,
Yes, Women Really Can Mess With Our Heads! By Emily Miller
Men get plenty of blame for being promiscuous and superficial when it comes to women, but let's face it -- women are guilty of their share of nasty shenanigans, too. Here are 10 ways that women can be uniquely cruel to guys. If your lady-friend is resorting to any of this type of behavior, you should feel free to call her out on it and refuse to put up with it.
10. They Don't Pick Up the Phone
You convinced her to give you her number and you’re feeling good about yourself. Your charm and good looks have obviously made an impression on her. Unfortunately, when you try to call, she doesn’t pick up or, worse yet, she’s given you a fake number. Some women will give you their numbers because it’s easier than trying to tell you why she’s not interested. It would save everyone a whole lot of time if women were just honest from the get-go about whether they're interested or not. Is our pride wounded? Yes. But we can take it.
9. They Use Men for Free Drinks
Some women go out never planning to spend any of their own money on drinks at the bar or club. Yes, some guys encourage this type of behavior by trying to buy attention from women, but for those of us who'd rather be judged on our merits than on our wallets, this type of situation is incredibly frustrating. We're happy to buy a woman a drink if moved to do so -- but it shouldn't be her whole purpose for talking to us.
8. They Use Men as Placeholders
Maybe you’ve been in a relationship for a while and you notice that her eye is starting to wander. She’s starting more fights with you or not bothering to fight at all anymore. Her friends get quiet when you walk into a room. She’s avoiding your phone calls. Her things are disappearing from your place.
If she's a decent person, she’ll just get it over with and dump you already, but if she’s cruel, she’ll hold on to you for a while until somebody new comes along. Some women don’t like to be alone, so instead of putting you out of your misery and ending it, they’ll string you along until she meets someone to replace you. If she’s really heartless, she’ll start things up with him before she’s finalized the breakup with you.
7. They Emotionally Manipulate Men
Most men hate the sight of a crying woman, and some women will take advantage of this by using the threat of tears to get what they want. Yes, if we didn't have such a strong aversion to tears in the first place, maybe this situation wouldn't present itself, but here we are in 2013, and a lot of women need to do little more than shed a tear and a guy's on his knees. If this happens to you, keep a cool head and try to talk it out.
6. They Use Physical Violence
Men are usually raised to never hit a woman. Unfortunately, there are some women who use this aspect of a man’s social conditioning to gain power over him. In the minds of these women, it’s perfectly acceptable to slap a boyfriend across the face when he says something that pisses her off. Confident that he would never hit her back, this type of woman feels like she can inflict any kind of physical pain on him without fear of repercussion. But the fact is that hitting and hurting your significant other is wrong, no matter who you are.
5. They Criticize Their Men in Public
Over the past 10 years, an ever more common trope in TV and movies is the bumbling man-child and his accomplished, competent girlfriend or wife. The guy's the butt of all the jokes and eye-rolls and he takes it in stride because he's grateful to be paired up with such a great lady. This on-screen dynamic bleeds over into everyday life all the time. There's no reason to take constant public criticism from your wife or girlfriend. If she wouldn't like you doing it to her, she shouldn't dish it out. Simple as that.
4. They Don't Disclose Their Relationship Status
You’ve pulled out all your best moves and you seem to be making progress with the cute girl you’ve just met. When you finally get to the point when you feel you can safely ask for her number, she smiles and says: “I have a boyfriend.” That information would have been nice to have at the beginning of the conversation. It’s certainly not the worst thing a woman could do to a man, but it is annoying when she lets you assume that she’s available so that she can enjoy your flirtation and flattery.
3. They Withhold Sex to Make A Point
There's not being in the mood, and then there's using sex as a power lever. Women have gone on strike in the bedroom as a form of protest for centuries -- there are parts of the world where it remains an effective form of social protest. Needless to say, it's not our favorite way to get a point across, mostly because it's frustratingly effective. We get it! Can't we just talk about it?
2. They Test Their Men
You’re all ready to go for a night out with your friends, when your girlfriend calls and asks you to change your plans to be with her instead. She doesn’t have any particular reason; she just wants to see you. She knows that you had plans to meet up with the guys, but if you really loved her, you’d come over to her place instead, right? If her request comes with an “If you really loved me,” then it’s a test. If you choose anything other than immediately rushing to her side, you’re going to fail. This kind of testing in a relationship is indeed cruel and petty.
1. They Flirt To Inspire Jealousy
Maybe she’s feeling underappreciated, maybe you’ve just had a big fight or maybe she just enjoys the tortured look on your face. For whatever reason, girls who flirt obviously with other guys in front of their boyfriends are immature and manipulative.
There you have it, ten ways that women can be uniquely cruel to guys. Guys, don’t let anyone mistreat you. Remember, real men respect women by opening doors for them, not hitting them and simply respecting her for who she is but sometimes women may take advantage of a real man. So if your significant other or any woman is resorting to any of these types of behavior, you owe it you yourself and to her to call her out on her cruel behaviors. Most importantly respect yourself enough to refuse to put up with anyone who would be this cruel.
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly J. Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM. Portland, Oregon. March 19, 2014.
5 Reasons to Love Irish Men By Aisling Carroll, Huff Post.
I stand in a twelve-person deep line at Dublin airport, quickly overcome by the feeling of a furnace on my face. The bright shamrocks on the screens in front of me begin to shake, the loud voices over the intercom grow quiet and I drop down on one knee. Closer to the ground, I instantly feel safer and cooler and confident that I have averted blacking out. (These black out episodes are a long-term side effect of the chemo I had to treat ovarian cancer.)
I start to garner the familiar but unwanted and bewildered looks from my fellow line-sharers. From the Americans, the looks say, "Is she Tebowing?" Not to appear religiously devout, which will only add to the attention, I peer into my carry-on bag and rummage through it as if looking for a lost Lifesaver. I frown to add to the drama of the looking. As always, this works. The stares stop and I'm relieved to have pulled this off again.
"Ah now, there's no need to be getting down on the one knee," I hear in an Irish accent. I look up to see a large man standing a few feet to my side. This stranger seems to be talking to me. He flashes an approving smile from several feet above and says, "Of course I'll marry you."
I want to dive into my bag as numerous heads turn, but instead, my mouth forms a momentary, shy grin. He catches it while sauntering off, which unfortunately, gives him the satisfaction of knowing I'm a little bit impressed by his wit. I have just been hit by the "Irish charm cannons," as my brother coined them. In addition to public mortification, here are five other reasons to love Irish men:
They don't ask deep, introspective questions upon meeting.
"So, what are your passions in life?" asked the 40-something, cell-phone-clipped-to-chinos man who looked at me with no trace of irony. We were in the waiting room of a Northern California doctor's office. It wasn't quite 9:30 a.m.. We had only been chit chatting for a few minutes. I wanted to let out an exasperated, "UGGGGGHHH!" but said, "Do you have a pen?" with a slightly apologetic smile as I pointed to the medical form in my lap. Mr. Intensity's line of questioning was one that no Irish man would ask at first meeting. Instead, they punt with "Any craic?" (craic -- pronounced crack -- means something like fun, good times in Irish) or "What's the story?" And they ask these no-pressure questions indiscriminately. When the leader of the Western world came to Dublin, the Irish sardined the streets to see him. They wore Kermit green "WHAT'S THE CRAIC, BARACK?" t-shirts.
They want to make their mothers happy.
When my cousin Mike was 17, his mom would stop him at the door before he headed for a night out with his friends. She'd cup his chin firmly in her hand. She'd stare hard. "Think once. Think twice... Think M-A-M-M-Y!" she'd say. This was a warning: no "messing" (fights) or "carrying on" (sex) because she'd stand for none of it. The Irish Mammy is both feared and admired by her son, who strives not to disappoint her. That's why he wears a Tommy Hilfiger/Ralph Lauren shirt when taking her out, brings her a fancy chocolate egg at Easter and pretends to attend the 10 o'clock mass. Simply put, he loves her.
They downplay a rainy day.
My sister jacked up the volume on the remote so we could hear our favorite TV weatherman over the pelting rain, which flooded against our Dublin door. We knew from experience that the Angela's Ashes rain wouldn't cease, but we tuned in to boost our damp souls.
Standing in front of one massive blotch of dark grey, the weatherman mumbled quickly, nearly inaudibly, about "the unsettled stuff" and "tunderry showers." He said they might cause "one or two problems." He did not detail these problems, nor drill down into the miserable metrics, which his foaming-at-the-mouth American counterpart would have already trademarked RAINpocalypse!
Instead, Martin gave us an adorable smile-wink and showed us a viewer sent-in photo of a daisy head. The next photo was a meadow of tall, sun-dappled grass. This was Martin's masterstroke -- like Ireland's finest poets, he created a beautiful, idealized world. Wear a white linen tunic! Pack a picnic! Raingear is for unimaginative, overly literal losers! He signed off with a cheerful shout out to Bernie in Ballyhaunis on her 80th birthday.
The most macho among them say the word "lovely" with some frequency.
He's an Irish macho man and he (proudly) doesn't own an umbrella. He is a ham-loving, Bono-bashing cynic whose unprintable language would have made Richard Pryor marvel. Pryor, however, would have been baffled by this man's numerous and genuine L-bombs: "I had a lovely bit of beef last week" -- "Well sure, he's a lovely lad." Maybe I'm gullible, or maybe I'm just American, but his tender-sounding L-bombs make me feel a tug of affection for him.
They try to cheer you up, in roundabout sorts of ways.
"It looks like I'm going to lose my hair," I said to my friend Gerry, one of the first times I had acknowledged this fact aloud since my oncologist had told me. I phoned Gerry certain that in an Irish male way, he wouldn't address the emotions around my hair falling out. And this was exactly what I was looking for. Instead he said, "Well, I'm losing my hair and mine's not coming back." There was a laugh in his voice that confused me; I knew he was sensitive about his previously-unmentioned receding hairline. "Yours, though, yours will come back."
Of course it will, I realized, instantly lifted. As obvious as it was, I had not thought of the growing back bit. Gerry had just cheered me up by pointing out a hard truth for him to illuminate a promising truth for me. So to the Irish illuminators -- in each and every corner of the world -- may you have a happy St. Patrick's Day.
Research and edited by Dr. Kelly J. Brennan for Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, Portland Oregon. March 12, 2014.
“Men Dream of Mars, Women Dream of Venus: How Men and Women Dream Differently” By Suzanne Bergmannand Susan Baragia via DreamsCloud
For 90 minutes to two hours or more each night, every single person on Earth dreams. Sometimes, the dreams are straightforward in their meaning to the dreamer: a long-lost friend reappears, a tropical beach beckons or the lottery jackpot is within reach. But dreams don't always tell a simple story, and the field of dream research becomes even more fascinating when people from different cultures and backgrounds report having similar dreams.
"Dreams are a universal language, creating often elaborate images out of emotional concepts," explains Susan Baragia, a Master of Educational Psychology and professional dream worker. Baragia, who is part of the experienced team of Dream Reflectors at DreamsCloudthat provide feedback and insight about dreams, has identified 14 common images found in dreams posted to the DreamsCloud user-generated dreams database.
"There's no single, definitive meaning for symbols and images in dreams," Baragia notes. "But just as a smile usually means that someone is happy, these dream images are so common, that they do have a generally accepted meaning." Studies and surveys have found that men and women dream differently, although we are not worlds apart either. Is this surprising?
As we embark upon our quest to understand the opposite sex, we may have noticed that the opposite sex is not only biologically different from us, but they also have a different experience within society. Therefore, it stands to reason that they likely think, feel and perhaps dream differently than us.
Tapping into the dreams of the opposite sex may help us to understand how they really tick. What is really on their minds? How do they really feel? What is important to them? What do they like? What do they hate? Dreams can provide us with a lot of insight into the inner workings of the mind, heart and soul.
Study after study, survey after survey, we are finding similar themes amongst the dreams of men and similar themes amongst the dreams of women. For instance, women may have a tendency to dream of emotions, relationships, and family members. In contrast, men may have a tendency to dream of violence, strangers, cars, and sex with unknown partners. Not only is the content of our dreams different, but how we perceive and regard our dreams varies as well. Women tend to recall more details of their dreams and regard them as more important, on average, than most men might. Women are also more likely to share, record, and discuss their dreams with others. Additionally, women are more likely to define a dream as being a nightmare and are more likely than men to seek out dream interpretation and/or use a dream dictionary to help them to understand the meaning of their dreams.
Although men are sometimes more likely to dream of physical aggression, women are often more likely to dream of verbal aggression. Research has also indicated that women dream of work more often now than in previous years -- undoubtedly a reflection of the times. Both men and women dream of work; however, men tend to dream of success or monotony, while women tend to dream of the challenges of balancing home and work, as well as emotional expression within the workplace.
So, Why Do Men and Women Dream Differently?
There are differences in the way men and women think, express feelings, perceive feelings, and participate in the world. The reason for these differences could be socialization, or could be biological. The correct answer is likely a combination of the two. Since some women can tend to gain their self-esteem from relationships and some men can tend to gain their self-esteem from their performance within the world, it makes sense that women may dream of relationships more often and men dream of achievement more often.
Of course, we are generalizing a little and should to be careful to avoid inadvertently falling into gender-based stereotypes about dreaming. We all have different degrees of masculine and feminine traits. People can dream similarly or differently, regardless of sex or gender identity. Similarities and differences in dreaming style usually have more to do with a person's background, personality traits, levels of introversion and/or extroversion, cultural environment, belief system, and worldview, than to do with an individual's sex.
Men Tend to Dream Of:
Women Tend to Dream Of:
Below are the 14 common dreams and symbols and how they differ from men and women.
1. Being Chased
This is one of the most commonly reported dreams. Mostly because the anxiety we feel in the dream is so vivid, that it makes it easier for us to remember them. Often, the reason for these dreams comes not from the fear of actually being chased, but rather what we're running from. Chase dreams help us to understand that we may not be addressing something in our waking lives that requires our attention.
Women may have this dream because they may be struggling with relationship issues, body images, or any personal problems.
Men may have this dream because they are struggling with financial issues, relationships, emotions, issue at work, etc.
Water frequently represents our emotions or our unconscious minds. The quality of the water (clear vs. cloudy; calm vs. turbulent) often provides insight into how effectively we are managing our emotions.
Women may have this dream as an indicator of the emotional connection in their relationships.
Men may have this dream as it pertains to the task orientation of their working relationships.
Whether a car, airplane, train or ship, the vehicles in our dream can reflect what direction we feel our life is taking, and how much control we think we have over the path ahead of us. Vehicles can give us the power to make a transition and envision ourselves getting to our destination -- or highlight the obstacles we think we are facing and need to work through.
Women may have this dream as it deals with her future and progression. She may also have this dream as it pertains to her children.
Men may have this dream as it deals with his success or failure at work.
Seeing other people in your dream often is a reflection of the different aspects of the self. The people in dreams can relate to characteristics that need to be developed. Specific people directly relate to existing relationships or interpersonal issues we need to work through. Dreaming of a lover, in particular, is frequently symbolic of an aspect of ourselves, from which we feel detached.
Women may have this dream as it pertains to people who will influence them in the future, like her future husband or the man of her dreams.
Men may have this dream as it pertains to those who have influenced him in the past. He may dream of his grandfather that has passed away that may represent tradition and wisdom he may need in his life.
5. School or Classroom
It's a very common situation for people in dreams to find themselves in a school or classroom, often confronted with a test that they aren't prepared to take. This is a great example of a "dream pun" -- the mind using a word or concept and giving it a different definition. The "lesson" or "test" we face inside the school or classroom is frequently one we need to learn from our past -- which is one reason these dreams are often reported by people who have long since finished school.
Women may have this dream when a child is born.
Men may have this dream when starting a new job or project at work.
Unknown to most people, the body is actually encountering a form of paralysis during dreaming, which prevents it from physically performing the actions occurring in their dreams, therefore dreaming about paralysis frequently represents the overlap between the REM stage and waking stage of sleep. Dreaming about paralysis can also indicate that the dreamer feels he or she lacks control in their waking life.
Women may have this dream if she is having difficulty controlling her emotions or actions.
Men may have this dream if he is being bullied at work by other men or is not as successful as other men.
Although death is often perceived as negative, it's often more directly related to dramatic change happening for the dreamer -- the end of one thing, in order to make room for something new. For example, the loss of a friend and the gain of a new friend.
Women going through a divorce may have this dream as their marriage comes to an end.
Men who have lost a job or are changing careers may have this dream.
Flying in a dream, and how effectively or poorly it's done, relates to how much control we feel we have in our lives, and whether we are confident and able to achieve our goals. High flying is one of the most euphoric dreams imaginable, while flying or "skimming" low to the ground or being caught in obstacles like power lines can be immensely frustrating.
Women may have this dream as it relates with her relationships or frustration represented in verbal arguments with a loved one.
Men may have this dream as it relates to where he is in his life and where he wants to be, like his income or accomplishments.
Not all falling dreams are scary and negative. Some dreamers report a type of slow falling that indicates serenity and the act of letting go. Often, falling uncontrollably from a great height indicates something in our waking life feels very much out of control.
Women may have this dream as it relates to arguing in a relationship or conflict.
Men may have this dream as it relates to a stack of bills or letting go of an old grudge.
Emotional or psychological exposure or vulnerability is very often expressed in dreams through nudity. The body part that's exposed can give more insight into the emotion that our dreams are helping us to understand.
Women may have this dream as it relates to a dark secrete about her that others may discover about her.
Men may have this dream as it relates to a certain weakness or fault being exposed.
Dreaming of a baby often represents something new: It might be a new idea, new project at work, new development or the potential for growth in a specific area of our waking life.
Women may have this dream as it relates to redecorating the house or making a drastic change in her life – diet, hair style or color, clothing, relationship, etc.
Men may have this dream as it related to a new position at work, a new toy or car, etc.
Food symbolizes energy, knowledge or nourishment and is directly related to our intellect, emotions and spirituality. Food can also be a manifestation of idioms like, "food for thought," and reveal that we may be "hungry" for new information and insights.
Women may have this dream as it relates to love, belonging or a connection to something bigger than her.
Men may have this dream as it relates to learning a new skill or project. It may also be a sign we are longing for love.
13. House or Building
Houses or buildings frequently represent the dreamer's mind. Different levels or rooms may relate to difference aspects of the individual dreamer and different degrees of consciousness. The basement often represents what has been neglected, or what the dreamer is not aware of in his or her waking life, while bedrooms relate to intimate thoughts and feelings -- those closest to the dreamer's core self.
Women may have this dream as it relates to desires for perfection or opportunities lost or never offered. Nightmare may emerge from these dreams.
Men may have this dream as it relates to unfulfilled opportunities, unfinished projects or desires for deeper intimacy.
Sex in dreams can simply be an outlet for sexual expression. But dreams about sex can also symbolize intimate connections with one's self and others, and the figurative integration of new information.
Women may have this dream as it refers to her desire for connection and intimacy.
Men may have this dream at is relates to his desire to love and be loved.
Despite the commonality shared by many dream symbols, it is important to point out that only the dreamer can truly interpret the meaning of their dream and how these symbols and their meanings may connect to the specific events occurring in their waking life. It is an exciting time to be interested in dreams. More and more studies are focused on answering questions we would love to know the answers to, including how differently men and women may dream. Research can reinforce what we already knew or show us what we haven't considered. When it comes to dreams, we are learning that gender is just one influence on dreams and culture, age, and life experience may have a stronger influence on dreams.
How about you? Have you had dreams that fall within the emotional and/or societal experiences of your particular gender?
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM. Portland, Oregon. March 05, 2014.
Sextrology: Sex According to Your Astrology Sign! What Kind of Lover Are You?
By ToroMagazine, February 2014
In Western astrology, astrological signs are Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces. The concept of the astrological signs relate to human activity and are held to represent characteristic modes of expression, or primary energy patterns indicating specific qualities of experience, through which planets manifest their dimension of experience through the human experience. One of the expressions of the human experience is sex or sextrology, sex according to your sign. Based on your sextrological sign, what kind of lover are you? What kind of a lover is your partner? Are your sextrological signs capatible?
Aries (March 21 -April 19)
The God of War doesn’t think before actions, they have sex, then think about it later. Aries is often excited by the chase rather than the catch. They are very dominant, however do not want a submissive partner. Aries needs a spontaneous partner, in life and the bedroom. If there is a routine in the bedroom Aries will look elsewhere.
Taurus (April 20 -May 20)
Taureans are ruled by Venus which is beneficial when it comes to love and sex. They are sensual, loyal and faithful. When they make love (not have sex), it’s the most physical and natural pleasure in the world to them. Taurus believes in using romance to get sex. You can expect dinner, flowers and even candles. They do not like to rush things, in life and sex.
Gemini (May 21 -June 20)
Gemini has split personalities, or so it seems. They like to entertain and be the center of attention. They love telling stories and are never boring. They need a partner that can keep up with them. They like a lot of variety, spontaneity. Do it in a place that you may get caught.
Cancer (June 21 -July 22)
Love and sex go together for the ever so careful Cancer. Cancer needs to feel secure in love first, then the can relax for sex. Cancer are turned on by security.
Cancer Man in Bed: Cancer men are sensitive and put his partner’s needs before his. His caring nature attracts partners. He will do anything it takes to keep his partner happy.
Leo (July 23 -August 22)
Please be prepared for a rocky road with Leo. They can be selfish, even in the bedroom. However, Leo is interested in more than just sex. They want love and Leo does actually want more from a partner than just sex though. Leo wants love and friendship too. Leo can be very romantic, however when in bed, they want a show.
Virgo (August 23 -September 22)
Virgos have dual personalities, the Virgin and the Vixen. They will make you think they are sweet and innocent, then they will seduce you. Virgos prefer a long term partner, rather than a one night stand. Once committed, Virgos prefer cuddling over sex.
Virgo Man in Bed:The Virgo man has an idea of the perfect partner. He tends to criticize, however you shouldn’t take offense, he is just trying to be a perfectionist. Virgos tend to have some kinky ideas, however they need to feel comfortable.
Libra (September 23 -October 22)
Libra balances between being sexy and a great lover, which makes them number one to satisfy your needs. The pitfall: If they don’t get what they want from you, they may move on, before it’s even over.
Scorpio (October 23 -November 21)
Beware: Scorpios are very possessive. They feel threatened if you even look at another person across the room. On the other hand, they are loyal, reliable and always there when you need them. Scorpio’s are also protective. They feel that knowledge is power. They also enjoy sex and dirty fantasies.
Sagittarius (November 22 -December 21)
Sago’s are very playful and laid back. They also like to embellish their stories. They are spontaneous and adventurous in the bedroom. When they find “the one” they are dedicated full time as long as the other is devoted as much.
Capricorn (December 22 -January 19)
Capricorns like to hide their emotions, so you can never tell if they are in love. Capricorns are driven by money and manage it well.
Aquarius (January 20 -February 18)
Aquarius is the master of sexual twists and turns. Sex is more of an intellectual experience, rather than physical. Aquarius also fears commitment, so don’t rush the “L” word when with this sign. They are very entertaining and inventive in bed. Expect to learn new things. Most Aquarian’s are very impatient, so they like sex to be fast and very satisfying.
Pisces (February 19 -March 20)
Pisces prefer to put all their efforts toward pleasing their partners. When doing any intimate deed they consider it an act of romance. They are in love with romance, however can become jealous easily.
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, February 26, 2014. Portland. Oregon.
Men vs. Women: Understanding Their Subtle differences By Funny2.com & Esquire Magazine February 17, 2014
Men and women are always told they are different from one another. As little boy and girls these differences are socialized into our brain and then as adults we are told we need to become one with each other and unite! Be the same! Huh? Is that possible? Having men and women be the same is like having the same ends of the magnet attract each other, positive to positive or negative to negative – it doesn’t work! The forces that try to make the same ends of a magnet come together causing them to repel each other is like making men and women be alike – it doesn’t’ work! Understanding the subtle differences between man and women help the opposite end of the magnet join forces, making it very difficult to pull apart! Let’s celebrate the differences of men and women and the joy of their eclectic union! Here are some of the subtle differences of men and women, let’s understand them better to be a match like the magnets:
Men: To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch.
Women: Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot the "i" with circles or hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in the "b" and "g". It is a pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she will put a smiley face at the end of the note.
Women: A woman makes a list of things she needs, then goes out to the store and buys those things.
Men: A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a beer. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the express lane.
Women: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.
Men: A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know that there's always a chance for us." This is known as the "I Hate You / I Love You" drunken phone call that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need.
Women: They prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay.
Men: They prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place part of the foreplay.
Maturity:Women:They mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults.
Men: Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.
Magazines:Men:Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's body.
Women: Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Most naked men elicit laughter from women.
Men:A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
Women: The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man cannot identify most of these items.
Shoes:Women:When preparing for work, a woman will put on a wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.
Men: A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day. Let's not talk about how many days he'll wear the same socks.
Women:Women love cats.
Men: Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Women:A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
Men: A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Women:A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
Men: A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.
Women:Women do laundry every couple of days.
Men: A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants (the ones that were hip about eight years ago) before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by reruns of old episodes of "Love American Style."
Men:When the check comes, each man will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
Women: When the girls get their check, out comes the pocket calculators.
Men:Men are vain and will check themselves out in a mirror.
Women: They are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, bald guys' heads.
Women:When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of these changes varies with the individual.
Men: Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction - he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a Porsche.
Men:Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.
Women: A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
Women:Little girls love to play with toys. Then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.
Men: Men never grow out of their toy obsession. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive, silly and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TVs. Car phones. Complicated juicers and blenders. Graphic equalizers. Small robots that serve cocktails on command. Video games. Anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least 6 "D" batteries to operate.
Men:Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for state of the art equipment, and build dark rooms and take photography classes.
Women: Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course, women always end up taking better pictures.
Men:In the locker room men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women.
Women: They talk about one thing in the locker room - sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and they never lie.
Women:Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man.
Men: The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.
Women:Women look nice when they wear jewelry.
Men: A man can get away with wearing one ring and that's it. Any more than that and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.
Men:Men need a good disagreement to get talking. For instance, "Wow, great movie." or "What are you, nuts? No REAL cop would have an Uzi that size."
Women: Women, not having this problem, try to initiate conversations with men by saying something agreeable: "That garden by the roadside looks lovely." "Mm hmm." Pause. "That was a good restaurant last night, wasn't it?" "Yeah." Pause. And so on.
Women:Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants.
Men: A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the "Gimme the Ball" number in "A Chorus Line."
Women:Women on a girls' night out talk the whole time.
Men: Men on a boy's night out say about twenty words all night, most of which are "Pass the Doritos" or "got any more beer?"
Women:Women use restrooms as social lounges. Women who've never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. Women also go to the restroom in packs, at least two women at a time excuse themselves to use the restroom.
Men: Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Men in a restrooms will never speak a word to each other. And never in the history of the world has a man excused himself from a restaurant table by saying, "Hey, Tom, I was just about to take a leak. Do you want to join me?"
Well…there you are, some of the major subtle differences between men and women. Understanding these differences may not move the earth but can make you time on earth more enjoyable, satisfying and fulfilling with your significant other. Let’s celebrate the differences of men and women and much like the positive and negative ends of the magnet, let men and women unite together!
St. Valentine’s Day, When Love Is Not Enough: 4 Tips for a Strong Relationship!
By Claire Barber, Relationship Expert.
“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together.” ~Unknown
My husband and I were going through a difficult time a few years ago. It felt like a pivotal time in our relationship. People say that marriage isn’t easy and you have your ups and downs. Well, we were definitely experiencing a low point.
We had been together for several years; we had been high school sweethearts and were each other’s best friends. During this time we had several issues going on in our life, one of which was my husband being out of work, and suffering with anxiety, depression, and a lack of self-esteem and confidence as a result. Our relationship was in a bad place and we were being tested.
We were not spending any quality time together, nor were we going out together as a couple (my husband didn’t want to face anyone, including friends and family).
We didn’t feel like each other’s friends, let alone the lovers and best friends we had grown to be. At times we even felt like strangers—or even worse, each other’s enemies. We were forever fighting, bickering, and whining at each other.
After a lot of heartache and many heated arguments, we realized we could no longer go on like this. When we stopped to analyze the situation, we asked ourselves several questions:
Did we still love each other? Did we still want to be married? Had everything changed so much that we just couldn’t work things out?
Once we decided we wanted to be in our marriage, we each made a commitment to start treating each other differently. We hoped that, with a new perspective and our mutual love and respect for each other, we could start working together and make the change we so desperately needed. We hoped that a change in attitude and behavior would salvage our marriage.
The following four elements became very critical in our relationship and led to us saving our marriage, as well as making it stronger for the future.
During this rough period we stopped communicating clearly. It’s funny how, as human beings, we withdraw from each other when there is a sign of trouble or misunderstanding. We decided to consciously work on our communication. We spoke in “I” statements rather than “you” statements.
We expressed how we felt rather than blaming a situation on the other person. “I” statements work because they show how you feel, whereas “you” statements create a sense of accusation and blame. This helped us be open with how we felt, stopped us from shutting each out, and allowed us to talk about our issues in a productive and efficient way.
We were feeling a lot of resentment toward each other, and not feeling loved and appreciated, so we put in place a daily appreciation diary. Keeping a personal gratitude journalis a great asset; it makes you focus on the positive in your life and leads to happiness.
Keeping a gratitude diary as a couple had the same benefits and gave us hope. It forced us to focus on the positives of the day and not just the negative events or what the other person did or didn’t say. It made us appreciate the other person and see them for the person we fell in love with.
It also made us feel good to be acknowledged and appreciated for what we had done on a daily basis. It helped to hear the other person say thank you, even though we were being thanked for doing our expected roles—me, for going to work full time and my husband, for taking over the home duties.
It was important for us to hear the gratitude from the other person so we didn’t feel like we were being taken for granted.
3. Quality time as a couple.
It was also helpful for us to schedule quality time with each other—getting out of the house and spending time together away from all the issues of our life; taking the step back and just being with each other. It’s important to set some time aside to just be a couple; spend quality time together regularly, but especially during hard times. This doesn’t need to involve money; just a walk down the park together or along the beach will help. Just taking yourself out of your home environment will be beneficial. We enjoyed each other’s company once again and started to feel more happiness as a couple.
4. Showing love as the other person wants to receive it.
We both still loved each other, but didn’t really feel that we were loved. I’ve read books and articles about how people receive and give love differently. Your partner may not perceive love in the same way as you; and remember, someone’s perception is their reality.
How your partner receives your love is important. You can’t assume the other person knows that you love them. For myself, I feel loved when people spend quality time with me, making the effort to talk to me and listen. My husband, on the other hand, receives love by affirmations, people giving him compliments and positive statements. With this in mind we made an effort to show each other love in ways that we knew would make each other feel loved on a regular basis.
By doing all of this we started to feel like we were in a loving marriage and that weren’t battling through our difficult life on our own. We had each other there for the support we needed.
We look back on this time as a lesson learned. We feel proud that we got through it and grateful that our relationship is stronger. We faced the challenge and came out on top. We now practice these simple things every day to grow together and maintain a good and loving relationship.
We can be confident that by using these simple techniques, we can face the many challenges life throws at us together, such as having a miscarriage last year and our ongoing quest to start our own family. If you are fortunate enough to share your life with someone you love, then you owe it to yourself and your partner to make an effort every day in your relationship.
They say love conquers all and that all you need is love, but unfortunately a solid relationship needs more than that. It requires being there for each other, showing support, feeling loved, being grateful that you are sharing your lives together, and above all, showing your appreciation every day.
Photo by Jeanne
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, February 12, 2014. Portland. Oregon.
How to Overcome Age Difference in a Relationship: 5 Steps that will help you overcome this age gap and make your relationship successful.
Are you in a relationship with someone much younger or older than you? If so, it does not mean your relationship is doomed to fail, you have to work to make it successful. I know how hard it is because my husband is nearly 12 years older than me. To make the relationship work, you must be able to overcome the age gap. This guide will help you overcome this age gap and make your relationship successful.
Overcoming Age Difference Step 5 - Treat Each Other Equally
Refrain from treating each other as either a child or a parent. If you are older than your partner, you should not tell your younger partner how she or he should put away their clothes, for example. This will make them feel as if you are trying to parent them and leave them feeling they are inferior to you. If you are younger than your partner, do not talk to them as if they are in charge of you. For example, do not ask your partner for permission to buy the latest CD by your favorite artist. You are an adult and can make your own decision, so do not let your partner decide which color sock you can wear each day. This step is very important to overcoming the age difference because you are both to be equal, so treat each other as equals.
By taking all of these steps, your May-December relationship can work. Like I said at the beginning of the guide, I have been through it and have persevered. You must remember what initially sparked your relationship and you must learn to give to and take from the relationship equally. Do not let the age difference between you and your partner become a factor in deciding your relationship, after all he or she could be the one.
Overcoming Age Difference Step 4 - Compromise
You must learn to compromise. Not all of us have the pleasure of having everything our way all the time. You must compromise so both partners interests are taking into consideration. Make a day, at least once a month, where each individual has the opportunity to choose an activity to do together. One weekend visit the park and enjoy a picnic and the next weekend go out to the club with your significant other. When you are on each other's activities, be sure not to complain and genuinely enjoy the activity. If you complain, this can leave your partner feeling upset and give the impression you are not interested in your partner. Being able to compromise is one of the best parts of being in a relationship because both parties are happy.
Overcoming Age Difference Step 3 - Voice Your Needs and Wants
Communicate your needs and wants. People have different needs and wants at different stages of their life. If your partner does not understand why you must do something a certain way or want to take part in some activity, you can become miserable. You must find the best way to communicate with your partner and give yourself a voice. Being voiceless and letting the other person in the relationship make all the decisions will set the relationship up for disaster.
Overcoming Age Difference Step 2 - Understanding Where Your Partner is in Life
Step 2 in the process is to understand what phase in life your partner is at. Your partner may not be at the same place in life as you. Maybe your older partner has left his or her partying days behind and enjoys nice cozy nights inside and you just enjoy partying and vice-versa. As part of overcoming the age difference you must accept the fact your partner may not enjoy every activity you would like to experience because he or she may have already experienced the activity. Acknowledging these differences can make a world of difference in your relationship.
Overcoming Age Difference Step 1 - Identify Why You Are Together
Before you can overcome the age difference, you must identify what attracts you to the person. Is it the person's personality or other factor? You have to remember why you decided to make this person a part of your life. You also must take time to analyze what about you is attractive to your partner. Maybe you are sophisticated or easy going. Make sure to acknowledge why you are together and with what your special connection is held together.
There you go, five steps to narrowing the age gap in your relationship that will help both of you go strong and be just as satisfying, happy and long lasting as any other relationship. Remember age is just a number. Think about it, how old would you be if you didn’t know how old your are?
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, February 05, 2013. Portland. Oregon.
Why are Husbands Jealous of their Wife’s Friend: Four questions to ask yourself if you want to be HER best friend!
By, Relationship Health Message, www.healthboards.com
Steve tells his friend, “I just wanted to know if the men or woman have gone through this, my wife has a very good friend from work that she is very close to, when she gets home they call each other and talk on the phone for a good while, I really do not mind of her friendship with her, she is a very nice person and we all have gone out to dinner and she's really nice, but for some time now or rather the last 2 weeks every night, my wife has been tired and we have not spent any time together, every night I hear the say excuse, I'm tired and sleepy or I'm not feeling well. But whenever my wife's friend comes over, like this past Friday night after work, my wife was full of energy, drinking and dancing at home of course but meanwhile for the last 2 weeks, I'm been completely ignored. Now this might sound as if I'm jealous of their friendship, which I'm not I don’t mind her having friends, that would be stupid but the fact that every night she's too tired for me and yet for her friend she is full of energy and gives her all the time in the world, what do you think?
I agree with the other posters. I think there are varying degrees of how this plays itself out, and the answers are some of the hardest to hear. Like when the husband comes home and the wife is so wrapped up in the children and the housework and getting things done, that she isn't receptive to his sexual advances, she's too tired to have time for him. Or when women complain that their husbands always have time for the sports station, or going out with their buddies, going to the bars, the games, the garage,....but no time for their dates, for romance, or family picnics. I think what happens is we slip into comfort zones, we take our partners for granted, we lose the very qualities we exhibited when we were dating them (and don't replace them with other qualities).
There are some painful questions we all need to ask ourselves when we feel this way:
1) Would "I" want to spend time with me?
2) Why would he/she want to be with me?
3) What do I offer him/her that is more enticing or more exciting?
4) Do I always offer the same things: i.e.: my approaches are usually for sex, my approaches are usually to complain about something that hasn't been done, I usually whine about what is wrong with him/her and how I feel neglected, I pout, I complain about (his job, her friends, the in-laws, the kids, money)
We do want, as someone else pointed out, the "top billing" position by default, because it makes us feel secure, and part of being married IS feeling safe and comfortable. But if that safety turns into apathy or resentment -- and the longer it stews without being addressed, the harder it is to remedy it.
Surprise her when she comes home by doing something new and exciting,... without drawing attention to your efforts or complaining when she goes out,.... warm up the inside of your relationship instead of trying to seal the cracks to the outdoors and keeping the outside away from her.
That's very hard, painful, hurts the ego, and calls for soul searching. But it can be done. Life isn't what happens to you -- it's how you react to it! Thoughts don't make us who we are -- Actions do.
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, January 29, 2014. Portland. Oregon.
Fear the Dentist? You're Not Alone. But Who Fears the Dentist More, Men or Women? Top 10 Phobias That Cause People To HATE Dentists! - 1/23/14
By Dr. Joseph Bulger DDS, is a West Toronto dentist. He’s also the owner-founder of Royal York Dental – a respected dental clinic serving Etobicoke since 1950. Additional author, Dr. Louis Siegelman, D.D.S. Feb. 13, 2012
What do you HATE about dentists? What part of it bugs you the most? “Everything!”
If you’re a Dentist Hater, I’m sure you have your reasons, and yet I’ll bet it’s not actually dentists you hate. It’s all the stuff a dentist does that creeps you out – the drilling, filling, and billing parts. Who can blame you for that? A dental chair can combine the sum of all fears… with pain, needles, doctors, confined-spaces, loud noises. It’s no big surprise so many people hate going to the dentist. Yet, dentists aren’t such bad people. We’re just the ones doing the work and stuck with the bad-guy label.
The loud whirr of the dental tools. Your dentist's eyes, peeking out over the sterile (some may say ominous-looking) green mask. Leaning back in the seat, pinned down by the heavy protective bib that protects your body from radiation during dental X-rays. Scraping with sharp tools to chip away at the stains on your teeth. Then the dentists' toothbrush, followed by suctioning and sprays of water from the mini water jet.
It sounds like a typical visit to the dentist. But for many people with some degree of dental phobia -- technically called dentophobia or odontophobia -- it's the worst experience in the world.
People with dental phobias have a reflex to feel a fight-or-flight response when they visit the dentist, explained New York City-based dentist Dr. Louis Siegelman, D.D.S., who works in private practice and also is a clinical assistant professor in pediatric dentistry at New York University. "It's life or death, it's fight for your life or run for your life," he told HuffPost. "That's really what the core of this mechanism is."
Siegelman's dental practice isn't typical -- he specializes in people who have extreme dental phobias. He said the phobias can be a result of a multitude of things, including having a previous traumatic experience at the dentist (maybe a previous anesthetization wasn't done properly), feeling extreme discomfort while having a dental procedure done (maybe the person has trouble breathing while having work done), and having an accident where maybe a person needed stitches in or near the mouth, imprinting that scary moment in memory.
Siegelman said he sees patients who haven't been to the dentist in years because they're so afraid of coming in. For some people, this just reinforces their negative view of the dentist -- because they hadn't been in for their regular checkups, their teeth are in bad shape, just making the dental work they have to have done more extensive. Even though Siegelman's patients are on the more extreme end of dental phobia -- "I've met people out in the hallway hugging the wall, I've had people I've had to meet outside the office because they couldn't bring themselves in," he said -- a lot of tips and tricks he uses with his patients can also apply to people who are more mildly anxious about the dentist.
Surveys estimate that approximately 80% of the adult population in the United States report some level of anxiety regarding dental treatment. A significantly large percentage of females report higher levels of dental fear on standardized measures of dental anxiety than men. There are also high prevalence rates in the area of sexual abuse and dental anxiety among women. Among those reporting dental fear and a history of sexual abuse, the fear was not always related to fear of pain nor was the fear precipitated by a traumatic dental experience. Although there is a high prevalence of dental fear among women, this is not to suggest that all women with dental anxiety have also been abused.
A new study finds women are 2.5 times more likely to fear a visit to the dentist than men. But are the men telling the truth? "Women are more likely to be honest about their feelings," says Brian Chanpong, a dental anesthesia practitioner in Vancouver, Canada, who worked on the University of Toronto study. "The typical male would be less likely to admit to being afraid of the dentist."
Men can in fact be real wimps, Chanpong and his colleagues say, and they think their survey is flawed in the sense that men underreport their fears. "It's the young, healthy males who are the ones who often faint in the dental office," said Daniel Hass, a professor of dentistry at the university and a co-investigator.
Of the 1,100 surveyed, 5.5 percent were very afraid of seeing a dentist, and about half of those had cancelled or avoided a dental appointment as a result. That suggests that across all of the country, more than 600,000 people did not visit the dentist last year due to fear or anxiety.
Studies report that women are twice as more likely than men fear to the dentist! Women have reported that they and have greater fears such as loss of their teeth to death in the dentist chair!
Here’s a list I put together of the Top 10 Reasons People Hate Dentists based on my years of observation:
Why People HATE Dentists #10 – The Bad Memories and/or Abuse Survivors!
Did you have a bad childhood experience? Join the club. So many of us endured nightmare scenarios by today’s standards. It’s hard to let go of that. Every time you enter a dental office it can feel like you’re reliving those childhood events.
Many aspects of dental treatment have been found to symbolically represent sexual abuse for many survivors. The following conditions may trigger a repetition of earlier trauma:
Many dental experiences may remind the patient of their abuse experience in that they produce awkward sensations of suffocation, such as in the use of rubber dams, or gagging sensations, or feeling restrained in their movement.
Your brain is wired for fear. Emotionally-intense memories are very powerful and long-lasting. Sedation Dentistry can be a great option to reduce the anxiety brought on by bad memories. Trust also goes a long ways to helping you finally let go of that past.
Why People HATE Dentists #9 – The Poor Service!
Everybody promises better service. When you step in the front door, you find out the truth. Do they have brand integrity and a great reputation, or is it just song and dance? Indifference is the big relationship killer in healthcare. Every member of the team represents your brand, and any time one of them drops the ball on service, the magic you were trying to convey vanishes in a puff of smoke.
Here’s a secret. Where you find great service, you’re likely to findsuperior quality. They go hand in hand. It’s all about dedication to excellence, and that dedication extends to all aspects. Look for prompt courteous care where you’re always treated with grace and respect. You want an uplifting experience in which you walk out healthier, happier and smiling more beautifully than when you walked in.
Why People HATE Dentists #8 – The Lectures!
If you already feel guilty or embarrassed about your situation, the last thing you want is reasons to feel worse. You don’t need to be scolded into submission, admonished like you’re a helpless child or assaulted by irrelevant factoids until your eyes glaze over.
My advice to dentists: Bombarding people with information shows professional knowledge, but demonstrates a selfish vie for attention and a disconnect from the relationship aspect. We are people taking care of people. Never forget your humanity and compromise that bond by indulging in lectures or overplaying the SMART card. People already assume you’re smart, so you don’t have to prove anything. Keep that card tucked in your pocket and use it sparingly. Play the WARM card to the hilt because what people really want is more caring in your care.
Here’s the bottom line: Find a dental team dedicated to making YOU healthy and happy instead of posturing to make themselves look more knowledgeable and superior. Never forget that you’re the boss, so tell them you prefer a NO LECTURES approach.
Why People HATE Dentists #7 – The Cost!
This can be a deal-breaker. Everyone appreciates exceptional care, but for some people, even basic dental care isn’t affordable.
There’s 2 issues here. One is affordability. What is pocket change to one is an astronomical fee to another. People have their budget limitations and I certainly respect that. Sometimes “good enough” has to be the way when “the best” is not within reach.
The other issue is value. Not everyone places high value on their dental health. It can be a lot to spend if you need major work, and some people absolutely HATE spending hard-earned dollars on dentistry. It makes them furious because they don’t get to spend it on stuff they like. Even if they have the money, they would rather be spending it on things that bring them more pleasure.
Why People HATE Dentists #6 – The Sounds & Smells!
With any measure of anxiety or fear, your senses are put on high-alert. You become hyper-aware of sights, sounds and smells. Some people hate the antiseptic smell of medical and dental offices. We do our best to keep our office sensually attractive within a spa-like atmosphere. You’ll feel our warm ambiance with light jazz in the background, our soothing warterwall, and medical-grade air purifiers to maintain a fresh clean smell.
Why People HATE Dentists #5 – The Invasiveness!
Dentistry is invasive. We’re right inside your mouth performing our gum-gardening and tooth-carpentry. This can definitely feel like an invasion of your personal space. If the dentist is not graceful, gentle and respectful about your care, you could feel almost violated by the invasiveness of most dental procedures.
Why People HATE Dentists #4 – The Drill!
Some people are OK with everything, except for the dreaded dental drill. This weapon of destruction – with all the noise vibration and spray – becomes a focus for their anxiety. When they hear that sound, their sweat starts to pour.
Thankfully the newer ones are much quieter and smoother than those old brain-rattling ones of yesteryear. Inside your mouth, sounds tend to be amplified. Sedation Dentistry can help you relax if the dental drill is intolerable. Earphones help block out the sound so you can almost pretend you’re laying back on the beach.
Why People HATE Dentists #3 – The Anxiety!
This has to be the worst part. Anxiety is that sense of dread and general apprehension before and during an appointment. Anxiety puts you on edge, compounds the ordeal and you’re left completely drained by it. Even if there isn’t any pain involved, it’s the threat of pain and other triggers of fear that build up the anxiety and make for a miserable experience. Some people can’t sleep properly the night before their appointment. They hate feeling so anxious but they can’t shake it. Sedation Dentistry is a great option to reduce anxiety.
Why People HATE Dentists #2 – The Pain!
“Is it going to hurt?” That’s the question on everybody’s mind whenever they sit in a dental chair. This was a strong choice for #1 on this Top10 list and is easily the most common reason that people hate dentists.
Everyone hates pain, and if you’ve ever endured dental pain, you know how excruciating it can be. That’s the reason why so many people associate dentists with pain. Your teeth are a vulnerable, sensitive area of your body, so the threat of dental pain is very real. Many people have felt jolts of pain at the dentist in the past, and they never want to feel anything like that again. That’s why proper Pain Management is so vitally important. Otherwise dentistry becomes brutality and the dentists are despised for it. Modern dentistry should be comfortable and easy.
Why People HATE Dentists #1 – The Needle!
In picking #1 for this Top 10 list, I gave the nod to the biggest phobia. Fear of needles and injections is HUGE for some people. It’s one of the Top 10 Adult Phobias, and children are even more fearful.
I didn’t dare show a picture of a needle here, because even the image will upset a phobic person.
Dentistry without anesthetic is an option… “Dear lord, you must be kidding!” is what you might be thinking. I actually do a lot of Minimally-Invasive Dentistry with no anesthetic. It’s nice to avoid the freezing (that’s what we call it here in Canada) when it isn’t needed. On the other hand, proper Pain Management is absolutely essential for more invasive dentistry. I can hardly imagine the brutality of old-style dentistry.
Delivery of Local Anesthetic is often the make-or-break“Moment of Truth” in the entire patient-doctor relationship. That’s the reason I use a Comfort-Driven System to ensure patients are as comfortable as possible.
Whether you have dental phobias or not, remember for some people going to the dentist can be life changing!
Research and edited by Dr. Kelly J. Brennan for Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, Portland Oregon. January 22, 2014.
Birth Order… What Does it Mean? 1/15/14
by Jeanne Degerstrom, a Parent Educator and Teacher with LADC on March 1, 2011
What is Birth Order? What affect does it have on a person’s personality? How does it influence parenting? How does one’s birth order affect their communication style? Birth Order is a person’s rank by age among siblings. Birth order can play a role in impacting personality and communication, but it is only one factor out of many that contribute to the total personality and communication style that your child develops.
Below are common characteristics for 1st born, only child, middle child and the youngest child. There is also a list of variables that can impact “birth order theory”. Knowing common birth order characteristics, along with implications for parenting can be very beneficial in developing a connection to your child(ren) as well as understanding your child(ren) a little better. As you read about the Birth Order Theory remember each child and family is special and unique.
The First Born Child or sometimes referred to as the “test child” because they did not come with a manual or instructions, tends to:
Implications for Parents:
The Only Child, also called the “test child” tends to:
Implications for parents and this is a must if you want your child to function properly on a social level.
The Middle Child, often called the “forgotten child” tends to:
Implications for Parenting:
The Youngest Child or better referred to as “the golden child” tend to:
Implications for Parenting:
Variables that can affect the Birth Order Theory:
As parents, understanding the birth order of our children and its impact on their development and interpretation of the world, gives us a better insight to the communicative advancements of our children and their relational developments. The more we, as parents do to understand the importance of the birth order on our children, the better connection we can make to our children. Also, understanding our own birth order helps us become better communicators not only with our children but even more importantly, with our significant other. Wow, who would have thought that the order in which people are born could have such an impact on our communication!
Researched and edited by Dr. Kelly Brennan for the Terry Boyd’s World Radio Show on AM 860 KPAM, January 15, 2014. Portland. Oregon.
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Listener Norwood Chapman sent us an email to let us know about an awesome project he's working on - a documentary called 'Why We Ride', about American combat veterans and what attracts them to motorcycles when they get home. Check out the trailer below, and learn more about the project by going to www.thelonesomeride.com
Fridays at 11:16, Lance Mayhew (mylifeontherocks.com) joins us. He is our show bartender!
The Coffee Cocktail (caffeine free & coffee free) 4/04/14
1 oz ruby port (Sandeman)
1 oz Remy Martin VSOP cognac
3/4 oz simple syrup
Add all the ingredients to a cocktail shaker. Add ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a port glass or wine glass. Garnish with shaved nutmeg (optional).
Caipirinha 3/28/14 (by our guest bartender: Jacob Grier)
2 oz Novo Fogo Silver Cachaça
1/2 lime, sliced
1 1/4 tablespoon sugar
Muddle limes and sugar, add cachaça and ice, shake and pour into a glass.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Vodka Martini 1/31/14
2 oz Grey Goose vodka
1/2 oz dry vermouth (Noilly Pratt or Martini and Rossi recommended)
In a mixing glass, add both ingredients
Stir for 30 seconds
Strain into a chilled cocktail glass
Garnish with a lemon twist or an olive (make it a vodka Gibson with a pickled onion)
The Anejo Sage 1/24/14
In a pint glass add:
2oz. Cazadores Anejo Tequila.
1/4oz. Green Chartreuse.
1/4oz. Lemon juice.
Dash of Bittermens Burlesque bitters.
Prepare a bottle with Cherry wood smoke and set it to the side.
Add ice and stir down and strain in to the Cherry wood bottle.
Give a quick swirl and pour over ice.
Top with Lemon soda and zest a orange over the top.
Garnish with orange peel and cherry.
Blueberry Tea 1/17/14
ServeLance Mayhew's Hot Buttered Rum recipe 1/10/14
Hot Buttered Rum Batter
1 stick butter, room temp
¾ c brown sugar
¼ cup agave nectar
½ tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp allspice
1/8 tsp clove
To make a hot buttered rum, simply slice a good dollop off of the batter, add to a mug with 2 oz Bacardi 8 year rum, fill with hot water, stir to incorporate, and enjoy.
Here's the recipe for this week's drink:
Gentleman Jack Tennessee Celebration Punch
4 tblsp sugar dissolved in
1 c fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup orgeat ( Trader Vics recommended)
1/2 c grenadine
For one cocktail-
In a highball glass, add 2 oz Gentleman Jack Tennessee Whiskey, 1 oz mix and top with sparkling wine
For one punchbowl-
One large brick of ice
1 bottle sparkling wine (Cremant de Alsace recommended)
1/2 bottle of Gentleman Jack Tennessee Whiskey
Mix (all of it)
Combine, stir and serve
Strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with a cherry.9/6/2013
Garnish with a lime peel.
• 2 oz Woodford Reserve Bourbon Whiskey
• 1 oz simple syrup (1 to 1 ratio)
• 1/4 lemon, cut up into 2-3 pieces
• 3-4 full sprigs of spearmint
1. In a mixing glass, add mint and lemon. Muddle thoroughly to release juices and oils.
2. Add simple syrup and whiskey.
3. Add ice. Shake vigorously for 30 seconds.
4. Strain into a rocks glass filled with crushed ice.
5. Garnish with a mint sprig.
Gin Basil Smash
2oz Bombay sapphire
3/4 oz lemon juice 1 oz simple syrup
1 handful basil
Muddle basil, add all other ingredients. Add ice, shake and strain. Easy breezy!
Take 3 Cocktail
2 ounces Cynar
3/4 ounce St. Germain liqueur
3/4 ounce lemon juice
1 orange wedge, for garnish.
Orange Creamsicle Cocktail
1 1/2 oz Bacardi Oakheart Spiced Rum
In a glass of your choosing, add Bacardi Oakheart Spiced Rum, ice and top with Squirt.
Grey Goose Collins
1 1/2 oz Grey Goose vodka
1/2 oz simple syrup
1 oz fresh lemon juice
Club soda or sparkling water to top
1- Pour Grey Goose vodka, lemon juice and simple syrup into a highball glass.
2- Add ice.
3- Stir briefly to incorporate.
4- Top with club soda or sparkling water (lemon Perrier makes for an interesting twist)
6- Garnish with lemon wedge and maraschino cherry (optional) and serve
1 oz Herradura Reposado tequila
3/4 oz New Deal ginger liqueur
3/4 oz lime juice
1/2 teaspoon soy sauce
4 dashes Tabasco
top off with half bottle Pilsner
Serve on the rocks
Bacardi Pinapple Fusion Cooler
2 oz Bacardi Pineapple Fusion
Just mix and serve. This is super easy.
Barrel Aged Negroni
1 bottle Bombay Sapphire gin
1 bottle Martini & Rossi Sweet Vermouth
1 bottle Campari
orange twist garnish
In a small oak barrel (available at Fh Steinbart or online) combine all three ingredients. Age at least one month before serving.
Bacon Whiskey Old Fashioned
6 pieces good quality, thick-cut bacon
1 bottle Gentleman Jack Tennessee Whiskey (750 ml)
1/2 ounce brown-sugar simple syrup
2 dashes angostura bitters
1 small piece cooked bacon, candied (garnish)
Cook the bacon slowly over medium-low heat until all the fat renders. (Save the cooked bacon for another use.) Infuse the bacon fat into the bourbon using the fat-washing technique, which adds the flavors of a fat into the spirit. To do so, pour the fat into a large glass jar and add the spirit, then swirl together. Cover and let the mixture sit in a cool, dry place for three days to one week, then refrigerate for 24 hours. The fat will solidify and separate. Pour through a strainer lined with coffee filters to strain. In a cocktail shaker, combine two ounces of the bourbon, the brown-sugar simple syrup (made by combining equal parts sugar and water and simmering over medium heat until the sugar dissolves), and the bitters. Add ice, shake well, and serve in a rocks glass. Garnish with a candied bacon strip (1/2 slice bacon cooked with brown sugar and black pepper)
· 2 peaches, sliced
· 2 cups cherries, pitted and halved
· 2 oranges, sliced
· ½ to 1 cup sugar
· 1 cup Cointreau
· 2 750-ml bottle dry white wine
· mint sprigs (optional) to garnish and for flavoring
· Club soda, optional
Combine peaches, cherries and oranges with ½ cup sugar. Add the Cointreau. Chill for about 2 hours. Combine the fruit with the white wine and mint in a large pitcher and chill for a few hours or up to a day.
4 bottles cheap red wine (please find an actual varietal, not Carlos Rossi Hearty Burgundy. I like to use Charles Shaw Shiraz at Trader Joes)
6 oz Cointreau
2 oz Remy Martin VSOP cognac
4 valencia oranges sliced thin (don't sub navels)
2 granny smith apples sliced thin
2 cinnamon sticks, broken in 1/2
9 cloves, studded onto 1 slice of apple
1 cup granulated sugar
Combine all ingredients in a large apothecary jar or punch bowl, stir to incorporate sugar into the mix, cover, refrigerate overnight before serving.
Can be cut with sparkling water 50/50 for a lighter option for guests.
1 bottle of Brugal Extra Dry Rum
20 oz. of Fresh Grapefruit juice
20 oz. of Club Soda
10-12 lime wedges
Pour all ingredients into a pitcher, lightly stir and pour over ice. Garnish with a lime wedge and serve. Serves 12-15 people.
2oz Herradura Blanco Tequila
1oz grapefruit juice
top with Squirt/Grapefruit Jarritos5/9/13
2 oz Herradura Blanco tequila
Grapefruit Jarritos soda or Squirt to top
In a chimney glass, add tequila & ice. Top with soda & serve.
The Classic Margarita
2oz Cazadores tequila
2oz Fresh lime juice
1 oz Countreau
Nicolle Camarata and Diane Jordan still rocking their outfits from TWENTY YEARS AGO! Looking good, ladies!
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Aaron Duran is the Terry Boyd's World movie reviewer. He joins us every Friday at 5:45pm. You can also find him at http://www.geekinthecity.com.
Lauri Loewenberg is a world renowned dream analyst. She joins us on the first Tuesday of every month at 5:05pm